Break Even
by McGonagall's Bola
Summary: What am I supposed to say, when I'm all choked up and you're okay? Okay, or that's how Hodgins and Angela appeared to one another more than a year after their relationship ended. Hodgela -REWRITTEN!


BETA READ by _Binky_

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The lyrics used in this piece of fan-fiction, are from _Break Even. _I don't own anything; it belongs to The Script.

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_I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in  
'Cause I got time while she got freedom  
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even_

"Thanks, stud," Angela whispered, leaning in to rub her lips one last time against his, before trailing her long nails over his chest and getting up in Cleopatra's bed. She leaned over the side to search for her bra, which had ended up somewhere in the vicinity of the storage room while trying to get herself and Hodgins undressed at the same time. How many times had the two of them 'not' been in there as a couple to have some private time? How many times had Cam not looked after them shaking her head, not having to ask where the two were going… certainly not after mentioning to them that there were cameras in the storage room. It had been quite embarrassing.

Angela's eyes caught sight of her shiny, burgundy colored bra with thick black lace. She easily reached it and got it on, before taking her matching panties and pulling them on as well. Angela turned to face Hodgins, who was still lying motionless on the bed. His arms were folded behind his head; his eyes watching her with a little smile around his lips. She questioningly raised her eyebrows.

"You shouldn't be getting your hopes up for more," she mentioned.

"I know," Hodgins answered, briefly looking aside and reaching for her strapless purple dress that had fallen onto his side of the bed. She accepted it with a mischievous expression, and pulled it over her head, and down. She briefly rolled her eyes, before averting her gaze and searching for the rest of her attires in silence.

Hodgins continued to watch her get dressed. His bright blue eyes were focused onto her soft brown skin; onto her delicious female curves and on how elegantly she moved… even when in a hurry. He couldn't believe that that beautiful woman had once said yes to him. He couldn't believe that he had let her go. Ange gave him one last look before leaving the storage room, and getting back to work… before Cam or Brennan would start asking questions. He sighed, quietly looking at his muscled left arm that had once carried a tattoo of Angela's face, and 'Angie forever' written under it. He kind of regretted having had it removed by laser, even though on her request.

_Her best days will be some of my worst  
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first  
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping  
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even_

Hodgins' eyes caught Wendell upon entering the lab again. Angela and Wendell weren't really paying attention to one another. Hodgins immediately noticed that difference between when he and Angela had ended their relationship, and when she and Wendell had done it. Something awkward, which truth admitted had been between Angela and him right after their break-up as well, continued lingering between them even after a month of not being a couple anymore.

Something within himself raged in triumph, bearing in mind that undeniable, absolutely delirious fact that after Wendell, she had come to him, and had allowed him to give her some comfort in her times of need. Something between them both had never really died, while between Wendell and her, nothing affectionate appeared there anymore. Having been forced to watch them together before that, likely had been the most painful thing he ever had to experience. He would have given hours more underneath the sand in that car with Dr. Brennan instead of having had to witness them together.

Hodgins certainly wanted her to be happy again… but it really pained him to witness her like that with someone other than him. He couldn't deny that Wendell really was an honorable guy, who would always put her first, no matter the situation. Angela hadn't been satisfied by being treated as some kind of duty, though. She was the girl that still looked for her fairytale ending, and wanted to be someone's princess. Yet she had been with him for much longer than any other relationship between Roxy, her lesbian girlfriend in college and him. Hodgins found himself restless and irritated, the consequences being one sleepless night after another, while always thinking about her and them and how it could have lasted longer; if maybe he could have done something to keep them together… longer… forever, maybe…

_What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?  
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?_

_I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces _

Angela's hand roamed almost automatically over the piece of paper. She was an artist, so at least something would come of it. She, however, highly doubted that she would be able to provide Brennan with a really accurate face if she was going to pay so little attention to the skull while drawing, her gaze directed to nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Well, everywhere wasn't exactly true either.

Angela's eyes secretly moved back and forth to Hodgins every now and then. He appeared so perfectly fine with them only fooling around, without more… Had he actually loved her, and wanted to share the rest of his life with her? If he could move past it so easily, had he ever longed for a life together with her?

'I'm your guy,' she recalled him saying. 'I'm your guy.'

She quietly thought about their times together, and him saying that whatever happened, he would always be there for her… She really missed him… missed having wonderful sex at least three times a day – even during working hours – and missed huddling up together on his couch while watching something on the television that wasn't really her favorite, but was actually fun whenever Jack was around nevertheless.

She unconsciously discontinued sketching, and leaned into her hand, thinking about whether she would have kept the baby like Hodgins had predicted. She sadly wondered if maybe she would have been less panicked about finding out she was pregnant if it had been Hodgins'. A child created a bond for life with the other that was, to her, even stronger than marriage. And marriage had already scared her so much… until Hodgins. He had been the one who had gotten her to say yes. He hadn't pushed her anymore and had wanted her just the way she was, even if not as his wife.

_They say bad things happen for a reason  
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding  
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving  
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even_

In fact, Wendell and Jack were the same in many ways. Both of them were incredibly intelligent, and part of the squints. Both of them had a sensitive heart beating behind those walls of male strength, and really were loving and caring. Something different between them existed too, though. She couldn't exactly put her finger onto it, but something between them felt very different.

Maybe something between their work ethics was different? That would be quite logical since Hodgins had about three doctorates, and Wendell was merely a grad student, even though he too was very smart. Hodgins mainly focused on bugs and slime, while Wendell focused on the bones, like Brennan. Hodgins was maybe more naturally loyal than Wendell? She couldn't really say. Wendell had, for example, only wanted to do the right thing concerning the pregnancy scare. Never had he said anything about really taking care of the baby, non-financially as well. Yet, she hadn't been pregnant by the time Wendell had come to know, too. It had been only a false positive.

She sighed. She knew which differences weren't really important to her, though. Hodgins had tons of money, while Wendell still had debts with his neighbors for having gone to college. That didn't really matter to her. It wasn't something like that. It was something in their way of acting on situations, maybe. Both would put her first, but Hodgins… he would still do that after their break-up. Wendell hadn't really said much to her after theirs.

Bad things happen for a reason, Avalon always told her. Even though Angela always took her psychic's advice to heart, and often found her predictions coming true in one way or another… she couldn't deny that even though how wise Avalon Harmonia's words were, it hadn't ever really healed her. Of course she often felt better hearing that everything would be fine in her life again, possibly sooner than later… Nothing had ever changed immediately, though. In the future everything would work out in the end, but… nothing seemed to change the day after.

Angela's eyes caught Hodgins again, then trailed over towards Brennan's office, where she would very likely be rummaging through something FBI related to detect more about the case, and give Booth something valuable to work with if he returned. Maybe she should get back to work and try to give Booth something to go with, she suddenly reminded herself, and continued sketching while looking at the skull every now and again, doing her best to create a good enough portrait of the missing man between forty and forty-five that had been found in one of the dumpsters in the somewhat poorer areas of D.C.

She couldn't keep her mind from comparing herself with her best friend as she worked, even though both of them were so different. Brennan could easily compartmentalize loss, or grief… something she couldn't really. She immediately recalled Brennan's tearless expression at Booth's fake funeral. Angela secretly wondered that if the same would be happening at this time – a couple of years later, and after Booth's surgery, and his declared deep love for her – if she would act entirely the same as then.

Angela sighed, putting the last details onto her sketch, while not being able to understand how Brennan had been able to move past Booth's love declaration so easily, even with their deep emotional connection. And she still hadn't been able to quit thinking about how it would have been if Hodgins and she hadn't parted ways. It certainly wasn't like her to continue thinking about a man afterwards, being fully aware that she could have nearly any man, or woman.

_What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?  
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?_

_I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces_

Hodgins only feigned, that he didn't really notice her looks occasionally directed towards him. They still worked together very well, even after their breaking up. That was something that had never changed.

He sighed, quietly turning his attention back to the miniscule pieces of dirt under his microscope. He quietly shook his head and chuckled internally: of course Angela hadn't been his first. At the age of fourteen, he had already charmed the prettiest girl in school… who had been actually two years older than him, and had taught him everything about love. It had been only afterwards that he realized what kind of bimbo she actually was… having slept with about twenty different guys at the age of sixteen, and having had about two abortions as well. Last he had heard of Nathalie, was that she now was in her sixth marriage. Thank goodness he had seen the light, and moved on to another girl… with whom he had been together for years: Ellie.

He never really forgot about either of them. Nathalie had been his first sexual partner, while Ellie had been his first long term relationship. There had been others whose name he couldn't even recall anymore, nor even the color of their hair or eyes… There had been a blond one, he recalled, but most of the others he couldn't really remember …

Oddly enough, everything about Angela he could still recollect very well, and that wasn't only because she and him still worked with each other daily. He could vividly remember how she smelt when leaving the bathroom… He could easily bring to mind the facts of how she always woke up in a different position, than when going to bed. She always liked to lean her head on his chest when both of them were watching television.

He never would be able to forget any of it. Angela must have been the best thing to ever happen to him… and them parting was very likely the worst. She had been able to get over it so easily, and move on to Wendell after her celibacy… Wendell impregnated her, and she seemed entirely indifferent. Meanwhile, it only killed Hodgins inside to see her with someone else.

He couldn't even imagine someone else in his life.

_You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain  
You took your suitcase, I took the blame  
Now I'm trying to make sense of what little remains  
'Cause you left me with no love, no love to my name_

Angela always appeared so carefree about everything… while both Wendell and he still suffered after she ended their relationships. Ironically enough, both men felt like it was their mistake, and never hers.

Hodgins often tried to wrap his head around why their relationship ended. He didn't actually believe that lack of trust could have been the cause. He didn't really believe that mainly because she had once said yes to him… and that must have taken him at least a couple of times. One day, she had agreed to marry him… and when Birimbau had finally been signaled and brought to D.C…. and had finally agreed to sign their divorce papers…

Hodgins sighed once more. He still tried to make sense of it all, even after almost a year…

_I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in  
'Cause I got time while she got freedom  
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even_

Angela glanced around the quiet Diner, and quietly poked at her food, having eaten barely four or five of her fries, and not even having touched her vegetables or meat yet… Why couldn't Brennan ever be the one to have fun with her and go have a couple drinks or more at a nightclub… She chuckled to herself recalling where that had brought them last time… very high. She really needed some girl time again…

A very sudden buzzing into the pocket of her jacket brought her back to reality. She immediately began searching for that pocket, and found her cell into the left one. She sadly looked at the screen, which said another Hate or Date possibility. Why had she subscribed to it again? However, before pushing 'Hate', she quietly directed her gaze to the warm blue eyes looking at her through the screen. She suddenly changed her mind and pushed 'Date' instead, laughing lightly, and wondering where he might actually be.

_What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?  
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?_

_I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces_

Hodgins chuckled, quietly pushing 'Date' as well, before making sure he could safely get to the other side of the street without being hit by a car ignoring the traffic rules… Hodgins could see her looking around her wondering where her date might be. He didn't think that she had already noticed him before he entered Royal Diner and made his way to her table.

"So, you are supposed to be my date?" He questioned, making her look up and smile. She nodded. He briefly took a couple of fries with his hands before sitting down across her, and getting one of her lightly pouting expressions.

"Is that all hello that I'm going to get?" Angela wondered. Hodgins' eyes rolled, as he swiftly lifted himself off the chair and leaned forward to kiss his former fiancée's cheek.

Angela, however, turned her head just enough to make him kiss her lips. Their eyes almost immediately connected, and blue got lost in brown, while brown got lost in blue. Hodgins quietly sat down again, when Angela very suddenly said,

"We shouldn't have broken up." She sighed. "Sweets is…"

"Yeah," Hodgins agreed. "He even pushed a wall between Booth, and Dr. Brennan." Angela nodded, not saying anything. None of them ever said anything anymore. Neither of them were showing their regrets, for having said goodbye to the other. And they would have been such a good couple.

"There's a good movie on TV tonight. You could come over…" Hodgins tried, and to his utter surprise, Angela nodded. She even got up before him, waiting for him with a smile. Both of them emerged into the gushing rain.

"Do you have an umbrella?" Angela's voice came.

Hodgins, amusedly, chuckled aloud. "No… so that means we're going to have to run instead…" he said, lovingly taking her hand as both of them ran towards the end of the street where cabs were somewhat faster to get. Both of them laughed hard as they ran.

Hodgins would be reminded that night of how good she had always smelled when leaving the bathroom. He would again be able to experience how she always liked to lean her head onto his shoulder while watching television, and how deeply she would sleep, if him picking her up and tucking her into bed didn't wake her.

Hodgins quietly smiled to himself, as he moved to take the couch, so that she could have the bed. Angela's hand, however, reached his shoulder before that, her sleepy eyes focusing on him when he turned back towards her, begging soundlessly for him not to leave.

And so he didn't. They had fallen asleep each somewhat on their side of the bed. The next morning, he found her again entirely in a different position than when the two of them had fallen asleep, with her head half onto his chest and foot curled around his leg. In the middle of the night it had gone to spooning, and now, they were completely entangled again…

Maybe all hope wasn't lost after all.


End file.
